Celebrity Beatdown, Vol. 1

by | Jan 13, 2017 | Houston, The Hogg

25 PAX posted at #TheHogg in the #Gloom for a Celebrity Beatdown (with water works). Leprechaun had a BQ today: 42. That number will come up again.

Disclaimer

YHC is not a professional instructor. F3 workouts are voluntarily and free of charge. Modify as needed. #YouAgainstYou. Notify the Q of any serious medical conditions. Aye!

Conditions

68 degrees with humidity hovering just under 90%. A cool gulf breeze required the PAX to push themselves, or find other sources of water, to get that familiar #TheHogg #TheGeneral soaked to the bone feeling this morning.

Warm Up

Mosey around to the Sister of Mercy’s back parking lot. Along the way alternate running with Agility Drills: Side Shuffle (R), Back Peddle, Side Shuffle (L), Butt Kickers, High Knees, Tin Soldiers

Circle of Pain

Ease into 42 reps and the first of our celebrity-inspired exercises. Oh, the Q must be kind on his birthday…for now.

  • Seal Jacks x 11 IC
  • Susanne Sommers x 11 IC
  • Peter Parkers x 11 IC
  • Speed Lunge x 5 IC (extra 2 on the right to get to 42…not elegant but better than extra YBRs)
  • Yul Brenner Merkin x 2 IC

Partner up in 2s

TheThang

Gather at the Penance Wall (PW). Partners take turns with RAY and sprinting around the parking lot, until each partner has completed RAY and made three laps.

  • RAY exercises at the PW: Rocky Balboa, Al Gore, Yul Brenner Merkins. In retrospect, these exercises should’ve been done with eyes closed.

Mosey out the back of parking lot, hang a left, cross the Bridge to Nowhere, hang a left and navigate the narrow ground between the ditch (we’ll see more of them) and the softball field. At the Garden of Tranquility we get our first dose of water works – it hasn’t rained in a day or two so the Parks & Rec folks were nice enough to turn on the sprinklers. Along the way, YHC and the PAX engaged in a lively discussion about professional wrestling. #foreshadowing

The Mosey continued to Bushwood Country Club, until we found ourselves at the driving range for a professional wrestling-inspired SLAM event – a new exercise for the PAX #CrowdPleaser

6-Minute SLAM (aka, WoooOOOOooo, Ric Flair!) – This is a six minute timed exercise. Each PAX OYO targets to achieve the following reps in six minutes:

  • 100 Speed Lunges L&R
  • 50 Aussie Pull-ups
  • 100 Merkins

Reps can be performed in any order, the PAX can mix & match. In fact, you probably should. If you achieve target reps within six minutes, celebrate and encourage the PAX with a high-volume “WhoooOOOooo, Ric Flair!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA0MTkHLO0g

Mosey (starting Double Applesauce) out of Bushwood CC to the ECR with a quick in-and-out snake into the big ditch (sadly, no water) over to the Lost 40 (found some water!) for a little Great Escape action.

Charles Bronson, modified and Dora-style: Partner up. Partner 1 performs exercises at Point A, while Partner 2 makes a break for it / sprints to Point B, army crawls to Point C, and then moseys back to Point A. Switch off and pick up where Partner left off on reps, RnR until 42 reps of the following exercises are completed:

  • SSH, Bruce Lee Merkins [modify if needed to Chuck Norris Merkins], Burpees [QMod: 21 burpees], Freddy Mercury, Jump Squats

Mosey back to the Shovel Flags and time is up. So many celebrities, so little time. Oh well, there’s always Vol. 2 – coming soon to an AO near you!

CountORama and NameORama:

25 PAX, no FNGs.

COT:

Pace Car shared his family history of colon cancer: his mother died of it and he is a stage four survivor. There is an MD Anderson race on March 25th – mark your calendars. He is working to raise money to get F3 on the shirts. Let’s support PaceCar to help make this event a success. More details to come.

Beta’s daughters are doing better and he thanked the PAX for continued fellowship and support.

Britney reminded the PAX that HookUp and T-Rex (half) are running the Houston marathon this weekend, and we wish them all the best.

BOM:

Thanks to Duggar for taking us out. Yes, indeed, the morning cadence is music to the PAX’s ears.

NakedManMoleskin

YHC is thankful for all the birthday wishes this morning. To mix sports metaphors, it’s the bottom of the first inning in my Third500 and am glad to have found F3 to help start the journey from Sad Clown to HIM. If you want more than a workout from F3, check out Freed to Lead.

Speaking of voids, YHC has long felt there is a void in the reality TV universe. There should be a show called Celebrity Beat Down where C- and D-list celebrities enter an obstacle course and face off with trained combatants. It would be a cross between American Gladiators and the Running Man. Maybe HBO could do the Running Man version. At any rate, this fantasy and way too much time on the F3Nation website (http://f3nation.com/exercises/) inspired the workout this morning.

Many years ago YHC learned the speed lunge, aussie pull up, merkin routine from Train with Ron in Chicago; he could complete it in less than five minutes but did not incorporate professional wrestling. YHC hopes another Q will incorporate the 6-Minute SLAM so we can improve and eventually hear our first hard-earned “WoooOOOooo, Ric Flair!” #ItsWaitingForYou

It felt like a lot of moseying this morning…hopefully the stops in between were challenging enough to make up for it. BTW, is there an F3 word for PAX who go around a wet ditch to keep dry? Divas? Rhodesian Ridgebacks (a breed known for its fear of water)?

Finally, I believe it was Socrates, or maybe Vanilla Ice, who said, “Ain’t no party like a CSAUP party, ‘cuz a CSAUP party don’t stop.” YHC failed to mention the Spartan Race in the COT. It’s four months away, and a good motivator to keep working on your fitness. You’ll have the option of going over Saturday or Sunday for the Sunday morning race, depending on your M’s understanding. YHC is in, so you know there is one Clydesdale you can keep up with. Let’s get the Hard Commit numbers up.

Quick Reminders

Saturday: 0600 and 0700 at #TheHogg. Pick one, or double down. Inferno is up for his VQ^2. YHC has a feeling Inferno is going to bring the heat. Over/Under on the hammy sniper is 26 minutes.

Spartan Race. The first official F3 Texas (Houston, Dallas and San Antonio PAX) #CSAUP convergence. Quick summary, expect 4-5 miles with 20-23 obstacles, and lots of burpees. See link for more details: https://www.spartan.com/en/race/detail/1880/overview?filter=sprint 

Key info / How to sign up:

  • When: Sunday, May 21, 2017
  • Where: Reveille Peak Ranch |105 CR 114 Burnet, TX 78611
  • Event Q: We need one for the F3 Houston PAX. #leadership opportunity. Who wants it?
  • Registration Info:
    • Event: Spartan Sprint (NOT the Super)
    • Heat: Sunday Morning, 1115-1200 Heat
    • Team Name: F3Texas  
    • Password: Fish61

@F3_250. You’ve heard about it. 250 workouts in 2017. Includes F3, Fern, and any other 30+ minute workout. Time for YOU to step up for your own @F3_250 #accountability

Twitter & F3Nation website: Sign up to stay informed and bust b@llz. #CommunicationIsKey #VirtualMumbleChatter

LexiconOlogy:

THIRD-500: The ages of 40-60 (roughly) when a man will win or lose the race set out for him based upon whether or not he has continued to Accelerate through the first half of his life. Abbr: T500. http://f3nation.com/lexicon/

Thank you for the opportunity to lead.

Leprechaun